A Father for Her Son (Medical Romance) Read online

  As the train hurtled its way through the tunnels she realised that part of the slightly sick feeling she was experiencing was due as much to low blood sugar as to the anticipation and fear of how she would acquit herself. It was past lunchtime and she had not eaten since eight o’clock, when she had had a small cup of coffee and a piece of toast. As soon as the appointment was over she would go into a café and get something to eat. If it was Simon, perhaps they could go together. She knew she could forgive him for disappearing from her life. He would have had good reasons, she felt instinctively, for the long silence.

  Most likely she would not be in this situation if she did not need money to help raise her son. She would just have accepted that Simon was gone, even though his disappearance would have nagged at her for the rest of her life, and she dreaded future questions from her son about his father.

  CHAPTER TWO

  THE medical arts building was old and dignified, faced with pale stone, with dark oak panelling in the wide entrance hall. Stalling for time, with five minutes to go before her appointment, Anna stood in front of the directory of doctors that was displayed on the wall near the two lifts, as she rolled up her wet umbrella and unbuttoned her black trenchcoat.

  Stay calm, she told herself sternly. You’ve come this far, so you’ve got to see it through. The worst he can do is tell you to go to hell, whether it’s Simon or not.

  With that, she got into a lift and pressed the button for the fourth floor, for Dr Ruelle’s office, that he shared, according to the directory, with two others. The building had only four levels.

  The fourth-floor corridor was hushed, the carpet thick as she silently walked along it, looking for the right office. In spite of her nervousness, she would go through with this. There was an inevitability about it now.

  The receptionist in the public area of the office looked very sophisticated and sleek, serving to make Anna feel rather like a mouse that had fallen into a ditch full of water. Her leather shoes were damp, her hair windblown, while the attractive woman at the desk had not a hair out of place.

  ‘I’m here to see Dr Ruelle,’ Anna said softly, as she self-consciously pushed strands of her damp shoulder-length hair behind her ears. ‘It’s a…a personal matter,’ she added that so the receptionist would not ask for her health card.

  ‘Just along there,’ the receptionist said, pointing along a short passage. ‘Room three, at the end.’ She did not ask for a health card or any proof of identity.

  ‘Thank you.’ Taking a deep breath, Anna let it out slowly, aware that she was gripping the handle of her shoulder-bag as though it were a lifeline.

  Again the carpet was thick so that her footfalls made no sound as she walked slowly along the passage to room three, where the door stood open. Hesitantly, she waited on the threshold.

  On the far side of the room, beside a window, a man was washing his hands at a sink, his back towards her. Her heart was pounding as she took in his appearance in those few seconds, the thick, dark hair with a tendency to wave slightly that was so like Simon’s hair. This man wore a dark grey suit, almost black, well cut, which managed to emphasise the width of his shoulders and the powerful body that was above average height but not excessively tall. The first impression he gave, from back view, was one of strength. Simon had been like that.

  She took a step into the room, swallowing to try to dispel the tightening of her throat. When he did not turn immediately, obviously unaware of her, she decided to speak.

  Against all hope, she uttered the name. ‘Simon?’

  When he turned she could see that he was not Simon. Or was he? The colouring was the same, the pale skin contrasting with the dark hair, the blue-grey eyes, as were the square jaw and the firm, very masculine mouth. Could Simon have changed that much in the three years or so since she had last seen him? She did not think so. Also, this man was either a very good actor or he had never seen her before. There was no spark of recognition in his eyes as he looked at her from head to foot and back again.

  ‘No, not Simon,’ he said. He had a rather deep, gentle voice, pleasant. Not Simon’s voice. ‘Ms Grey?’

  ‘Yes.’

  * * *

  Seth Ruelle looked at the young woman who stood before him, on the threshold of his office, at her pale face, her damp fair hair that fell to just above her shoulders, her blue eyes that had in them an expression of what he thought of as endurance.

  She was thin and about five feet six inches tall. For some reason his interest quickened and he felt an unfamiliar sense of protectiveness, as though he could shield her from something that threatened her. It had been a long time since he had felt that certain softness for a woman. In fact, he did not recall ever having felt it to quite the same degree. This woman seemed totally unaware of how attractive she was, how she might affect a man. There was something very authentic about her, although he chastised himself for thinking that when he had only just set eyes on her and she had only uttered two words in his presence.

  There were faint purple shadows under her eyes, and she looked tired and strained. Seth had the uncharacteristic desire to take her in his arms, to pull her head against his shoulder and stroke that pale hair that looked so fine and soft.

  They stood staring at each other. Anna’s heart was pounding again with nervousness, with the shock of disappointment, and she felt sick. As she stared at the man in front of her she felt the blood draining from her face, light-headedness coming over her so that she stepped forward quickly and gripped the back of a chair.

  ‘Are you all right?’ he asked, coming towards her.

  ‘No…I think I’m going to faint.’

  In short order she found herself propelled forward, an arm round her shoulders, to sit in the chair. Then, as black spots floated before her eyes, she felt his hand on the back of her neck, pushing her head down to her knees.

  ‘Keep your head down,’ he said. ‘That’s right.’

  He was back with a glass of water when she felt a little better, able to sit back in the chair, and he had closed the door. She knew that her lips were ashen, her face cold and stiff.

  Dr Ruelle sat near her, not on the other side of the desk, as she sipped the water. ‘You had better tell me what this is all about,’ he said, looking at her astutely and curiously. ‘I had a call from someone who said he was a private detective, with a client who was looking—urgently, he said—for a missing person. He said I might be able to help, but he declined to say how. It was very mysterious.’

  Anna nodded wearily, thinking that she was wasting this man’s time. ‘I’m looking for a Dr Simon Ruelle, who has been missing…as far as I know…from Gresham, at least, for about four years.’

  ‘Really?’ He raised his eyebrows, looking interested. Dispassionately, Anna thought how attractive he was.

  ‘Do you know him?’ she enquired.

  ‘No,’ he said, looking at her thoughtfully and intently. ‘Although he could be related to my family in some way. It’s not a common name and I don’t know all the members of the extended family. There have been a number of divorces, as well as family feuds, I believe, that I don’t know a great deal about. Many of the extended family members are in Africa.’

  ‘I’m sorry if I’m wasting your time,’ she said, shifting uncomfortably under his scrutiny. The exhaustion that she felt must have shown clearly on her face. Now that her father was ill, she was not looking after herself, and often forgot to eat.

  ‘Tell me about it,’ he said, not unkindly. For the first time she was aware of his physical presence so close to her and, surprisingly, she found herself drawing a certain comfort from this stranger. He was, after all, a doctor, who should have a measure of empathy.

  ‘I’m trying to find the father of my child,’ she said, deciding not to prevaricate in any way, ‘who disappeared. We were not married. I tried to find him at the time but he seems to have completely disappeared. He didn’t know I was pregnant, so I don’t think he was running away from me. I planned to te
ll him, then he vanished. I…only knew him really well for about four months, although we’d worked together for about six months before that, at Gresham General, in the operating suite.’ As she spoke, she did not look at him. It all sounded a little sordid, she thought.

  ‘You haven’t told me your first name,’ he said, leaning towards her, with no particular inflexion in his voice, so that she had no idea what he might be thinking.

  ‘Anna,’ she said. She was gradually feeling better.

  ‘What do you want him for?’ he asked. ‘Is it money?’

  Anna looked at him sharply, flushing. ‘As a matter of fact, yes, I am hoping for that,’ she said, turning to look him full in the face, finding an expression on his attractive features that was unabashedly cynical. ‘I’m struggling financially. But really that’s not the main reason, it’s almost incidental. I want my son to have a father, preferably his real father.’

  As she spoke, she wondered whether she should add that she loved Simon, but that seemed too specious. Accordingly she was forced to confront the reality of whether she did still love the flesh-and-blood Simon, wherever he was, or just the idea of him as he had been when she had last seen him. Better to say nothing about that. Having to talk to this blunt stranger forced her to confront her own fears and realities.

  When he continued to look at her, bending forward, his whole focus on her but saying nothing, she was forced to stumble on. ‘You see I…I absolutely dread the day when my son will ask some serious questions about his father…which I think he will be doing soon. I would like to find Simon before my son starts full-time school.’

  ‘So you haven’t seen this guy in almost four years?’

  ‘No…I mean, that’s right.’

  Seth Ruelle looked at his watch. ‘You look as though you could use a good meal,’ he said. ‘I don’t have much time, but I know a place nearby that we could walk to easily. You could give me the details then. I can’t say I can help you, but I could make a few enquiries within the medical profession and among my lesser-known family members. If Simon is still practising medicine, he can be traced that way. I’m doing it because we have the same name, and I’m curious.’

  ‘Thank you,’ she said, standing up. ‘I appreciate it very much.’

  ‘Are you feeling all right now?’ he asked, in a quietly solicitous way, so that Anna had the strangely powerful feeling that she wished he would take her into his arms and hold her. That was what loneliness did for you, she supposed, not having had male company when you needed it.

  ‘Yes, thanks,’ she said, gathering up her wet umbrella and her bag, trying to muster a certain dignity when she felt like the poor relation who had visited a wealthier family member to ask for money or shelter.

  The restaurant was in an indoor shopping precinct, quiet and dimly lit, with charming ambience. Seating herself, Anna relaxed a little, having taken off her damp raincoat and hung it on a nearby hook. As she did so, Dr Ruelle looked at her again in an assessing way that was not particularly overt yet not surreptitious either, so that she felt a hot flush of self-consciousness.

  In order to visit Hector Smythe, she had dressed in a turtle-neck cashmere sweater in a purple colour that was flattering to her and a pale grey wool skirt, two of the nicer items that were in her rather meagre wardrobe. Now she was glad that she had taken the time to dress up a bit, as she knew those clothes suited her.

  When the waiter came, she ordered a sandwich and a cup of coffee, deciding not to take up much more of this doctor’s time. Already she was thinking that she was making a bit of a fool of herself with this stranger, who was not obliged to help her just because he had the same surname as Simon. Her thoughts bounced back and forth.

  ‘I can give you half an hour, Anna,’ he said. ‘Start from the beginning.’

  ‘Dr Simon Ruelle was a surgical fellow at Gresham General Hospital,’ she began, as the waiter put her sandwich and coffee in front of her. ‘We met because I was working as a nurse in the operating suite. We worked together a lot.’

  ‘I see.’ Seth wanted to reach forward and take her hand as she looked at him earnestly across the table, but he refrained, reaching for his coffee cup instead. Was she for real? he found himself thinking, his usual cynicism tempering the softness and increasing sexual attraction that he was feeling for this woman.

  Hell, it wasn’t as though he didn’t have opportunities with women. Without being arrogant, he could truthfully say that he was being pursued more or less most of the time at work. And he did not want any of them, was unmoved by the overt advances. This young woman seemed not so much indifferent to his attraction as unaware of him as she frowned slightly at him and concentrated on her story. It was sobering, as well as disorientating to a certain extent. Usually he had often to be on the defensive with women.

  ‘I suppose it was very naïve of me to become pregnant…but I did,’ she said.

  ‘How old were you when you met him?’

  ‘I was twenty-two.’

  ‘I think I was pretty naïve at twenty-two,’ he said with a slight smile, which she supposed was to put her at ease. It was not easy talking about one’s personal foibles and follies to a stranger.

  ‘Go on,’ he said.

  ‘Simon disappeared before he had finished the fellowship,’ she went on, her throat tight with nerves so that she could hardly get the words out. She would give him the story, try to convey the gamut of emotions, including shame, that she had felt at the time, the terrible anxiety and frustration.

  ‘Because I had no claim on him whatsoever,’ she went on, ‘no one would talk to me about him, except in a very superficial way. It was a matter of privacy for him, which I understand, of course. So I had difficulty in making enquiries of my own, and because he’d been here for such a short time he didn’t have any really close friends who would otherwise have told me what had happened to him.’

  ‘You are certain he didn’t know you were pregnant?’

  ‘Yes, I’m certain. I went to see the chief of surgery, his boss, early on, who said they didn’t know where he was, but if they did they probably wouldn’t tell me because it would be a breach of privacy.’

  ‘Mmm. Go on.’ He had ordered soup and a sandwich, which he ate while he listened to her.

  ‘I gave up trying to find him after a while.’ She took a swallow of the coffee and then a bite of her sandwich, forcing herself to eat when she felt as though her throat had closed up. Dr Ruelle seemed deep in thought, and the silence between them was not strained.

  ‘My parents helped me a lot,’ she went on. ‘I am very lucky to have them to help me, although my father is now ill…which is one of the reasons I want to find Simon. He…should know he has a child…if he’s still alive. I can’t help thinking that he might not be.’ She bent over her plate, not wanting him to see the fear in her eyes that she had dwelt on for so long. ‘I was able to go back to work three months after the birth, and my mother looked after Finn, but now I’ve given up again for the time being, until my father’s well.’

  ‘Finn—that’s your son’s name?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘A sweet name,’ he said. Anna looked up, because his voice had softened. When he smiled at her she felt, for the first time, vulnerable to his attraction and his kindness.

  Seth, looking at her closely, saw that change of expression in her eyes, that vulnerability and hint of awareness. It moved him, in spite of a holding back in himself.

  ‘Do you have children?’ Anna blurted out, not having planned to ask that.

  ‘No,’ he said.

  Quickly she finished her food and coffee. ‘Things changed just recently,’ she hurried on, knowing that she only had a few minutes more of his precious time, ‘because my father was diagnosed with prostate cancer, and my mother needs time to be with him.’ There was no point in not telling him everything, she decided, as she had little time with him and he had to make up his mind whether he would help her. This might be her only chance. ‘So, to be brief, I
’ve decided to look for Simon again because I would appreciate some support—not just financial, but that, too.’

  She wondered again what this stranger must be thinking of her. She didn’t really care. He was a means to an end…or not, as the case may be.

  ‘Will you have more coffee?’ The waiter was there beside them, bearing a full coffee-pot, breaking into what was for her a rather awkward silence now. It wasn’t often that she got to bare her soul like this. The events surrounding the birth of Finn had been kept confidential as far as possible, with only one or two friends at work having known about it when she had taken leave of absence.

  ‘Yes, please,’ she said. ‘And could we have separate bills? We’re ready for them now.’ She did not want this Dr Ruelle to think that she was a freeloader, just because she needed help.

  When she looked up at him, he had an expression of faint amusement in his eyes. ‘I’m beginning to be impressed by you, Ms Grey,’ he said, with no further explanation.

  ‘Good,’ she said, feeling that she had to say something.

  When the waiter had gone, her companion extended his hand across the table to her. ‘My name’s Seth, by the way. I didn’t formally introduce myself before as I was concerned that you might collapse at my feet. Perhaps you knew it anyway?’

  ‘Yes. How do you do?’ she said, taking his hand.

  ‘May I call you Anna?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘Has your father got a spread of tumour?’ he asked, matter-of-factly.

  ‘No, thank goodness,’ she said. ‘It was difficult, waiting for the pathology report.’

  ‘Mmm, it always is.’ He nodded. ‘Tell me, did this Simon Ruelle indicate that he might be going out of town before he…er…disappeared?’

  ‘Well, yes, he did. He told me that his mother had a home in Boston—one of several in various parts of the world, I think—and that she was ill and had been taken into hospital for an operation, that he was trying to get a few days off to go down to see her. We made a date for the following week after he got back, to have a meal together in a restaurant.’